last one month..

It has been a month now since I was diagnosed with ‘Tuberculoma’. During this month there have been times when I was completely shaken, I was completely submerged in the so-called darkness of moment, I was extremely happy, I was just surrounded by goodness of the world. At the same, I would not dishonor the fact that somehow I was fortunate to experience most of the human emotions in this time.


Love, Friend, Care, Support, Sadness, Happiness, Isolation, Fear, loathe, Strength and Weakness were merely terms and to some extent a term with a definition. There meaning, the feelings within these words touched me during this time.

These days gave me life-long lessons. I understood what it means to have lots n lots of people besides us: some affectionate and some just for sake.

There is a whole lot of bunch of people around us; Family, Friends, Colleagues, Neighbors, Well-Wishers. Some of these bunches are held tightly to make sure they go nowhere, while some are just ignored considering they are no good to us, and some we take just for granted as if they are going remain with us no matter how we treat with them.

Truly said, it’s only time that can distinguish among good-bad, near-far, love-hatred, like-dislike.

People whom I considered to be mine.. support from whom was most expected, stood at fair distance from me. They were brawny enough to despise me. It was not that disease that broke me but it was this bunch of people that helped me to break down.

People, whom I thought of emotionally weak, stood by me like a pillar each time I was on my knees. I never knew these weak people could be so strong to hold me and them in this time. Although, I never consider this as the toughest stage of my life but when I look into the eyes, peep inside the heart I feel the pain and sorrow they have for me. The support, care I received was overwhelming, somewhat more than expectations.

Friends who were just friends were actual FRIENDS. Whenever, there was darkness all over me they proved to be that single beam of light that could enlighten my way. They were upset but they never let me felt so coz their sadness might become reason for my sadness. There gladness and cheerfulness helped me to come over the pain that somewhere deep in my heart was making its place. At every step they were with me to help me take a step ahead.

There have been moments when I was scared being along in the closed place, when I was scared of closing my eyes, I was scared of walking alone, I was scared of standing in public, I was scared to talk to anyone, when my hands shacked, when I was scared of hearing anything, when I cried whole evening; there ‘he’ stood holding me, giving me that I lost. His strength gave me strength; his voice was my voice; his song was lullaby; there was cover of happiness under his unhappiness; devotion under sacrifice that made me enjoy this not so enjoyable time.

A friend, sometime back fwded me msg that said “It’s worth to have handful of thoughtful n loving people around rather than having tons of selfish.”

I am really thankful to ‘Tuberculoma’ to give me these handful near-dear ones. They actually helped me to realize that m not just another person in their but I own a place and love in their lives..in heart for which I can demand anytime when I am in low spirits. They have full access to demand my love, care; dey have that power that can stop me when my foot goes on wrong step.



I will be really foolish enough iff I’ll let any of these go beyond my hold. No one could be unfortunate than me who can afford to lose them.

Now, I Just wish from God, “Lord, give me strength and patience so that I may hear even a low and single call from them.”