Motherhood- a word or a worLd !!!!!

Its been around 4 years now but picture of those days is still fresh in my black and white yet colorful brainy television. Even today I can very well feel presence of that dirty spook that haunted my home as soon as I completed my studies. Spook was genuinely jealous of my freedom and for this he/ she (dunno spook was male or female) started ringing wedding bells around my house. Hold on, my house was not enough for him/her and that he/she started to instigate even my relatives. Poor me! Tried to fight a lot against this ‘ME’ (its not myself wala ‘me’ but something that I learnt few days back :P) but couldn’t gain much but a lot of daatt and sympathy.

I was so scared! It was just unimaginable for me to get married, have husband and then kids. Over this getting married in joint family was like getting instead of giving ‘dahej’ (Jfyi, giving and taking dowry is a punishable act. lol!!!!! Sorry D!!! J )

Finally nothing could help me much at that time and I got married. Now when its going to be 3yrs of my marriage I can proudly say that I am one of the luckiest person on this earth to have a supportive, loving, caring, pampering husband with an even more co-operative, loving and caring ‘dahej’. Absolutely no guilt of getting married (loads n loads of touchwood!!!!!!!!)

Going back, I could recall those initial 2.5 years of my marriage which were no more than re-living my spinsterhood but this time with a license of doing more gunda-gardi and what they call ‘awaragardi’. I was happy! I was getting all liberty to be just ME(this time myself wala me). Enough space to explore myself, my interest, my personality and the world around me.

After that, over a period of time I started missing something in myself. I started exploring more and more around to satisfy my hunt. But nothing helped!

Then it was just that one moment of one afternoon when I figured it out. It was the feeling of ‘being MOTHER’ that was troubling me BIG time. Dunno when this feeling started popping up in me and I unaware of this, was wandering like anything in the search of something that was hard to be found in the world.

That one spark changed my life. Wet eyes and impatient heart, feeling of missing my own bundle of JOY were the only buddies of that moment.I could believe that being mother, being called as MOM is the only wonderfullest feeling in the world. I realized, seeing my own bundle crawling on the floor, dancing while trying to stand against the wall, saying mummum for water and huppa for chapati, screaming in JOY after looking birds, trying to use my cosmetics, irritating me, waking up in the middle of the night and asking me to play, drawing first painting on the wall, crying on the first day of the school, sharing first love story of childhood, giving a tight slap right on my cheeks and then smiling and saying ‘mumma’ are just few of the moments I would die for.

The thought that was unbelievable for me four years back, now is the only occasion for me celebrate. I never thought that ‘motherhood’, which used to be just a simple word for me, even a few months back, would re-define me.

Motherhood is not a ‘word’ anymore but a ‘WORLD’ to me.

Hoping to get the entry pass to this ‘world, my world’ soon……….